I took the road less traveled...

The Road Not Taken - by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveller, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference

I was thinking about this poem this morning while babysitting exams. Then I read one of my sister-in-law's blogs and realized my life is nothing like I thought it would be.

For as long as I can remember, I have been very responsible and "safe." I took the road well traveled... what everyone I knew was also doing. I had plans. Plans to go to college, study abroad, get a teaching job, get married, buy a house, and have kids... all by 30. I could've had that. In fact, I had almost all of that, when life threw me an unexpected curveball. To deal with the stuff that came up, I made a very rash and somewhat irresponsible decision. I left. I took the road less traveled. I wish I could say it has been the best decision ever, but it is still too early for that.

I realize that in a lot of ways, taking the road less traveled has not been good. I left a great, stable job that I liked. I moved 4800 miles away from all my friends and family. I left my cats, my home, my car, a lot of my stuff. I have put off finishing my masters. I am indeed a lot more stressed here than I was back home. I worry that I made an awful decision that is now pretty much irreversible. That makes me even more stressed. My job here makes me feel the opposite of professional. I'm constantly worried about it - not the actual job but rather all the crap and politics that come with it. US teachers - you have NO CLUE how good you have it! I thought school politics were bad back home... L.O.L. NOTHING compared to the crap here. I so wish I had a teachers' union here.

However in other ways, taking the road less traveled has been very interesting. I get to travel a lot, which I love. I have met some really neat people - including the light of my life, Paolo. If nothing else, he makes it all worthwhile. I have a nice lifestyle, and I am learning so much about another culture - something you can only do by living out of your comfort zone.

I was thinking about what the future holds for me. I have another 1.5 years in my contract here, bringing me to Dec. 2011. Will I come back? Will I stay? Will I move somewhere else?

My future is totally unclear to me... for the first time in my life. I don't know what to expect or what is going to happen. That makes me uneasy.

Was taking the road less traveled a good idea? I guess only time will tell.

Til then... 8 days til vacation in WI!!!!!! :)